Blessed.

I am overwhelmed right now with the chaos that is my new house. We arrived in Charlotte a week ago today. We spent the first few nights in our house with just the bare minimum. Two twin mattresses, linens, baby toys, pack n play, dogs, clothes, tv and a dvd player. We were expecting our things at the latest on Sunday, which then turned into Tuesday. I won't go into elaborate details about our moving company and the amount of stress we were put through. I will just tell you that I was so relieved to finally have our stuff. Beds to sleep on and fresh clothes to wear. Thank you Jesus! As things are slowly being unpacked, our lives are returning to some sort of normalcy.
With said normalcy, comes a huge change for me. I am officialy a stay- at-home mom. While my heart is leaping for joy, I can't help but feel a bit selfish about leaving the workforce. Since being engagaged I have never not worked. I'm not counting a few weeks of unemployment during transitions. I have worked my butt off and at one point was the "bread winner" in the family. Now the roles have changed and I become the mom, the housewife. I like making money. I like contributing financially to our household. Not that it has to do with finances...it's more of a control issue. I have become a controlling person and I like knowing that I am controlling some of our finances and that I don't have to rely on J to make the dough.
I have been thinking a lot about this change in my life, our lives, and I have been overlooking the most important thing. Drew. His whole life has changed. Everything and everyone he has known in the past year was pulled away from him in a weeks time. I haven't even begun to think about what this has done to him emotionally. Babies can sense things and D. is extremely smart at realizing people aren't here anymore. No more Grandma Leota and Papa Charlie at daycare. No more Uncle Michael in our house. No more friendly faces stopping by to visit. Just mom, dad and the puppies. I hope he makes it through this. I hope that he will enjoy the one-on-one time that he and I are about to embark on. I hope that I don't let him down and that I can grow to understand even more about my little man.
Thank you Lord for giving my family the opportunity to allow me to stay at home with our son. Many people don't have jobs and some people have to work two jobs to put food on the table...so this Thanksgiving I am blessed beyond belief and I am so thankful to have the life that I do.